GRAVITAS - what does it mean to you?
I recently attended Bloomfest, Bloom’s annual event covering all things relating to equality in the communications industry. I got to hear from some brilliant speakers throughout the day and it really affirmed some of the key messages I use throughout my work.
A few stood out to me including….
I joined a workshop by the fantastic people at The Good Shout where we were all asked to draw gravitas and what it looked like. My drawing was a teeny tiny shining diamond, because I believe that you don’t have to be the biggest, loudest, or most talkative person in the room to make an impact.
I’ve done a lot of contemplation on this. Firstly, because I grew up with some negative self-talk and a belief that I didn’t have an ounce of confidence and never would. And secondly because my answer to that was to try and become confident by copying everyone else. I looked and sounded a certain way, based on the stereotypes I saw around me in the advertising industry. It wasn’t until I discovered the world of personal development and coaching tools that I really understood what was going on, and how I could change it.
We’re often told that to lead, to make an impact and to be “successful” requires confidence, self-belief, and gravitas.
Often having this elusive thing called gravitas is synonymous with very masculine traits such as being loud, decisive, using a low voice, wearing a suit, and commanding attention. It creates a belief that if you’re not naturally like this, you’re somehow failing or that you need to work on some things to be better.
But I don’t believe in this outdated version of a leader, and I can see small signs of this changing not just in our industry but also in our society. You can be an introvert and lead. You can be quiet and reflective and be extremely confident. You can listen intently and not say a huge amount and still make an impact. The best way I’ve found I can make an impact is in one-to-one conversations, so I tend to focus my time there, or at least build a relationship 1:1 first as it helps me to feel comfortable.
The key is self-awareness, and a willingness to try a few different tactics out until you find the right fit for you. Working on having gravitas can feel elusive until we break it down and understand what that looks like. Most of the women I work with are looking to advance their career in some way, whether that’s getting a promotion, taking a different direction, or starting a project or business of their own. Alongside these goals will almost always be some inner work around confidence and self-belief which, of course, is the foundation for having gravitas.
Part of this is about skills that can be learnt and practiced, and part of it is about reframing things and changing your internal narrative to a more positive or at least a more compassionate one. It takes courage to authentically be you and not conform, but I think it’s so important and something I want to focus on in 2023 – for myself and the people I work with - so, let’s redefine gravitas together, be unique and find our own ways to shine.
If you’re looking to bolster your gravitas in 2023, here are some reflective questions to get you started:
1. Who do you admire the most for having gravitas? What is it about this person that appeals to you and what core values might they be linked to?
2. If you had to be known for doing one thing well, what would it be?
3. Think of a project, campaign, or piece of work that you’re proud of and the strengths that helped you to deliver that. Where else have you used the same strengths and how could you amplify these strengths in other situations?
As I look to the future, I’m reminded of why I joined Bloom, and why I set up my business in the first
place, which was to do something meaningful with my time, to be around people who are
passionate about the same things as me, and quite frankly to find the fun and freedom in getting
more from life every day. I think I’ve found my people!